The Joy of Signing

Somewhere around my first few weeks at Pathways I was assigned Donald and Jesse’s room. Donald was the youngest member of the grouphome, maybe 18 or 19 years old. He couldn’t speak, but could sign – not Helen Keller sign language, but his own rudimentary version of signing. He also didn’t speak except to loudly repeat a phrase that sounded something like “DOH-KWA” at extremely loud levels. If he was really excited or upset he would repeatedly yell “DOH-KWA!” and bite his right hand so badly it would bleed. (Aside: When I saw “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape,” Leo DiCaprio looked a lot like Donald and did the hand-bite thing, which made me think he was pure genius as an actor – then I was subjected to “Titanic.”)

Anywho – Donald also had a continuous river of drool demarcating both sides of his chin. Literally, I never saw him with out the drool line, no matter how many times he, or I, wiped it away.

My first time working with Donald I was helping him choose his clothing for the day from the closet he shared with Jesse – who was very fastidious and tidy. Donald picked some god-awful Hawaiian shirt and I asked him if he wouldn’t rather wear a different, more age appropriate shirt (i.e. one that didn’t make him look like a middle-aged man trying to reclaim his youth). Apparently, no one had every taken an interest in how stylish young Donald appeared and he was overwhelmed with emotion at anyone even caring, because young Donald quickly grabbed the back of my head and kissed me on the lips! Not a French kiss, but a baby peck – a baby peck saturated with drool from a recently awoken, not-yet-tooth-brushed mouth. Egad!

I immediately ran from the room and grabbed The Joy of Signing (yes, that really is a book) and taught myself the signing sequence for “You-need-to-ask-before-you-kiss-me.” I ran back and signed this to Donald, who clearly had no idea what I was signing and simply laughed and laughed, saying “DOH-KWA, DOH-KWA!”

It has been over 15 years since I worked at Pathways, but I still know how to sign “You-need-to-ask-before-you-kiss-me.”