Pop

Despite poo scraping, drool kissing and other misadventures, I adored working at Pathways for several reasons. The first of which is the sense of humor the guys in the unit I worked in showed. The second is that I had to be really creative in order to get the guys to do their “Activities of Daily Living” i.e., brushing their teeth, dressing, etc. Finally, I really loved having a break from the theoretical world of collegiate studies where theories, meta-analysis and deconstruction had no real practical application.

One thing that was lovely about Pathways was that we were allowed to take our clients for outings when we weren’t working. So Ed, who liked to have a beer, even though he was in his fifties and could barely feed himself, could be picked up on a weekend and taken to a pub where he would drink a microbrew from a straw.

I adored Brian, though he had many traits not to adore, like copiously masturbating with whatever fluid he could find (think aftershave, toothpaste, etc.) while moaning “Moooooooooom.”

There were many times that my best friend (who also worked at Pathways) and I would take Brian out for a burger and soda. This is when I discovered that the way to say “pop” or “soda” in ASL (American Sign Language) was to close your left fist with your right thumb inside of it, pull your right thumb out and slap the top of your left hand while mouthing the word “pop.” Whenever I did this when out with Brian I would puff my cheeks full of air and make a really loud “pop” sound. Eventually, it got to where I could be across a room and puff up my cheeks, ready to say “pop” and before I even made a syllable, Brian would laugh so hard he’d shoot whatever liquid he was drinking out of his nose. This became my favorite trick when a new staff showed up and tried to get Brian to bed. By this time I was working nights and it went something like this:

New staff (ns): Brian, it’s time to put on your pajamas.
Me: (looking at Brian from across the room and puffing up my cheeks)
Brian: AAAAAAAHHHHHH (shooting bedtime milk out his nose)
NS: Brian! What are you doing?!
Me: (puffing up cheeks again)
Brian: (still shooting liquid out his nose)
NS: (crumpled in a ball of frustration).

Ah, the fun could go on all night. However, I have some semblance of human decency and relented so Brian would follow instructions and get ready for bed.